Tuesday, 29 January 2008,03:57
And AGAIN!
Here I am again. Feel like I am back to square one. At the very start of this year, I promised to change my ways. But lately, especially now I can't seem to keep that promise. I know it's going to bite me in the a** some time in the future but that doesn't seem to be enough to will myself to do what I promised to do!
I worry about too many things. I'm getting real bored with school. Today, I missed my classes. I'm losing my motivation to do anything. Sometimes I can't figure out what I want. I don't know what I want to do or what I want my life to be.
It is too hard when you're in this certain place where every one expects you to work and figure out your future. It's like they are watching your every step making sure you're moving forward. When their very act is what grounds you to a halt because there are times when you needed to slow down. Move in a slower pace but they're pushing you too fast. It's like you're in the center stage and every thing you do is subject to scrutiny. No where to go. There's no escape and there's no going back either.
And when you think of it, all you wanted is just to take a little break. To slow down a little and enjoy the journey. Is there really a need to hurry up? Is it so bad if you take a little more time than others? Isn't it about the journey that you take, lessons and experiences you gather along the way that matters most? Because these are the things that will shape you and mould that tomorrow your after for.
So maybe I'll be taking a break. A quick rest might be just what I need to restore my motivation and wake up that innner determination to keep moving and finish what I have started.
Labels: college, life
