Wednesday, 10 October 2007,15:33
new and different
This time I want it to be different. Like what my layout says, I am letting go. Letting go of the pain, animosity, hurt, failures and everything else that holds me back. Things, feelings that create a wall between me and the few important persons in my life. I can't afford to lose anymore of those few people right now.
So this new blog would be different. Different in the sense that after a few months or years I would be reading posts of how I gracefully stood up whenever I fall down or how I face my problems with strong faith. This would be a reminder that all the struggles I am going through and will be going through will just make me a stronger and better person in the end.
And I'm striving for a love-post-free-blog. After what I have gone through, I think it's time for me to exercise my right to be bitter. Maybe not totally love free because for awhile I had my focus on a particular kind of love when there's so many kinds of love out there. I just think this is what's right for me. To close my heart for now and stop hoping for someone. I know there are more pressing things I have to do and goals I have to focus on.
It's been difficult for me for the past few months but thanks to my mom's re-assuring love, I survived and still surviving. She's extra-ordinary and sometimes I wonder how she does that. After all that I have put her through, her love never wavered. I don't know what I'm going to do without her. She's awesome and I love her so much. And the one true force behind my strength is HIM up there. Now I know that whatever happens, I have reinforcements by my side which means I'll survive and things will be fine.
Labels: beginnings, faith, family
