Bro: Why are you crying?
Lil sis: *crying mode* 'Cause Ate is hurting my feelings.

Am I the most horrible sister ever or what? Well if you'd ask my uber sensitive seven-year old sister then she would not hesitate to answer you with a "Yes she definitely is." It makes me wonder did she really mean that. Does she even know that feeling? Okay so I admit that I was a little annoyed and hurt at the same time. I am not going to write about what really happened because honestly I'm not a little annoyed anymore. Here's my response to her,

Oh so now I'm the one who's hurting your feelings. WHATEVER!!!!!!!

So the most terrible, insensitive and worst sister of the year award goes to yours truly. Thank you very much. *bow*

Labels: family

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"I’ve dealt with my ghosts and I’ve faced all my demons. Finally content with the past I regret. I found you find strength in your moments of weakness. For once I’m at peace with myself. I’ve been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long. I’M MOVING ON."

Those beautiful and inspiring lyrics are from the song I’m Moving On by, one of my favourite bands, Rascal Flatts. It fits exactly with my situation right now and what I want to happen in the near future.

"I’m moving on the last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me. And I know there’s no guarantee but I’m not alone. There comes time in every one’s life when all you can see are the years passing by. And I have made up my mind that those days are gone."

It takes time nevertheless no matter how long I believe I’d get there. Moving forward is the normal course of life. There are moments in the past that we want to go back to but we know there’s no going back. We all have to move on. Coz we can’t change what happened but we can affect what will happen.

That’s why I think that the song is more than just beautiful. It captures those times when someone yearns for the past but gives complete and undisputed importance to the future. That living your life right now and looking forward to the next day can give you a sense of direction. There’s no harm in looking back. However, let’s not look back for too long coz we might be missing a lot of greatness that is meant for us.

As promised this will still be related to my previous entry about my apprenticeship. After that great moment, I changed, my life have changed. I am so thankful to GOD for this blessing. One of my greatest dreams is to help my family. I dream of that day when I can finally tell my mom and dad that they don’t have to work anymore. I’d buy them a house back home (Philippines) when they retire and give them a good life. It’s my way of saying thank you for all the sacrifices they have made for us. And I believe that even a lifetime is not enough to thank them. So I’ll do my best, I will give my best to them.

Sometimes I think they don’t realise that I’m not just happy and grateful about this for myself, it’s more for them and my siblings. I’m aware that I’ve got a great challenge in front of me. I got this far however it doesn’t mean it’ll be easy. But with my faith, my family and that burning desire to reach my dreams I know I can succeed. As long as I hold on to those reinforcements, I know I will always find my way.

Labels: career, faith, family

0 comments

This time I want it to be different. Like what my layout says, I am letting go. Letting go of the pain, animosity, hurt, failures and everything else that holds me back. Things, feelings that create a wall between me and the few important persons in my life. I can't afford to lose anymore of those few people right now.

So this new blog would be different. Different in the sense that after a few months or years I would be reading posts of how I gracefully stood up whenever I fall down or how I face my problems with strong faith. This would be a reminder that all the struggles I am going through and will be going through will just make me a stronger and better person in the end.

And I'm striving for a love-post-free-blog. After what I have gone through, I think it's time for me to exercise my right to be bitter. Maybe not totally love free because for awhile I had my focus on a particular kind of love when there's so many kinds of love out there. I just think this is what's right for me. To close my heart for now and stop hoping for someone. I know there are more pressing things I have to do and goals I have to focus on.

It's been difficult for me for the past few months but thanks to my mom's re-assuring love, I survived and still surviving. She's extra-ordinary and sometimes I wonder how she does that. After all that I have put her through, her love never wavered. I don't know what I'm going to do without her. She's awesome and I love her so much. And the one true force behind my strength is HIM up there. Now I know that whatever happens, I have reinforcements by my side which means I'll survive and things will be fine.

Labels: beginnings, faith, family

1 comments

ANNE. Twenty years old. Currently working in one of the "Big 4" accounting firms and at the same time studying to qualify as a chartered accountant. There's nothing extra-ordinary about me except for my temporary insanity at times.

I have big dreams not only for myself but more importantly for my family. They will always be the first love that never dies for me.